i spend too much time on my phone. and lol @ us all but that’s probably the least unique thing about me.

despite writing up a whole post about using ios shortcuts to keep me off the damned thing OVER A YEAR AGO, I still feel like i’m too glued to my phone.

blogger’s note: i don’t even use those same shortcuts anymore. instead, I know have focus states tied to automations that automatically close certain apps. but even that is easy to get around because all i have to do is change my phone’s focus state. and in certain moods (read: so many of them), it’s all too easy to do—even if i’m irritated with myself for doing it.

after spending too much time this week looking into less-smart phones, like the light phone, i’ve come to the conclusion that those aren’t good options for me either. for one, because i want to keep imessage (lol, god forbid my texts come in as green for other people), and for two, i don’t want to have to deal with leaving the apple ecosystem for other reasons. at least not right now.

once i came to that conclusion, i did what i should have done first thing: i started dissecting why exactly it is i feel like i spend too much time on my phone, what i don’t like about it, what i do still like about using my phone, and then thought through what phone things i could replace with other things.

this exercise made me think of my youth (aging myself here), when not all of our tasks were phone tasks. when things were decidedly less efficient. when we weren’t expected to be immediately available.

i have come to realize that it’s not even other people expecting me to be immediately available these days, but it’s me! it’s my anxiety! but why should people have immediate access to me? why do i need to respond to texts immediately? why do i need to reply to people on social media apps right away? i don’t. i don’t. i don’t. and i’m starting to feel like too much efficiency in my life makes it feel like less of a life?? (i don’t know if that last part makes sense; it’s more of a ghost of a thought.)

but sarah, cries my anxiety, emergencies exist!! and to that i say: we all managed emergencies just fine before we had these little computers in our pockets. and if i’m already keeping my phone in sleep mode and unringable at night, then why does it need to be on my nightstand (or worse, in my bed)?

anyway. i did all this thinking about my phone’s place in my life and made some long, semi-personal lists i’m not gonna share here because MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

but at the core of things, i decided this: i have a compulsive urge to check my phone pretty regularly—which i hate—and i know it’s by the design of a bunch of billionaires who want me to use their apps so they can sell ads and such, so they made them addictive to brains on purpose. i suspect that this compulsion will go away with less time spent on my phone/scrolling apps, though i also suspect it will come back quickly if any boundaries i set slip (i imagine that’s how science works but also anecdotally i’ve already noticed this).

to break the compulsion, i need to have fewer opportunities to pick up my phone.

(aside: if you search around on the internet (i don’t use google search anymore, so i don’t know what adjective to use here) for how to spend less time on your phone, you’ll get answers like “turn off push notifications for social media apps.” and look, if you haven’t done that yet, then do it. i’ve never had those notifications on, so that’s not my problem.)

i’ve found i pick up my phone most:

• at home (sometimes during video game cut scenes, even???)
• when waiting for something out in the world
• when i need to know what time it is (so easy to check the time and then lose half an hour to the void!!)
• to take photos
• in bed (mostly pinterest, puzzles, but also anxious internet research about whatever is plaguing my mind)

so here’s how i’m solutioning:

@ home

as for during the day at home, i bought a cheap magnetized pen container (like for a whiteboard) to keep on my fridge for my phone to have a home in. i’ve had it for less than a day now, and the only  friction i’ve found so far is listening to music. but it’s not too hard to select my music and speakers and then just put it back in its little cup. i’ll need more days/weeks to see if this truly works for me.

when waiting for something out in the world

i already carry a book (either physical or my kindle) with me everywhere, but i think to keep me off my phone i need to ensure my phone isn’t really usable sometimes. leaving it at home doesn’t feel like an option, because safety in the world as a fem is not guaranteed. and also i’ll be continuing to use my phone as my source for directions and music during transit.

i already deleted threads, reddit, and bluesky, so i’ll at least stay off those apps. and maybe i can use focus friend in those moments to keep me off other doomscrolly apps? while i’ve so far very been quick to change my iphone focus state i’ve yet to interrupt lulu (my focus friend bean) from their knitting.

i’ll keep thinking on it.

when i need to know what time it is

i stopped wearing my apple watch ages ago because i hate treating my body like data. also the wrist buzzing made me irrationally angry. but i have watches! i like watches! i think they’re a really fun accessory! i just need to remember to put one on so that i stop reaching for my phone to know what time it is and then end up in some sort of vortex of phonespace that ends with me not even remembering what fucking time it is by the time i’m done.

to take photos

the ratio of usable/intentional photos on my phone to duplicate/blurry/unnecessary/accidental photos is probably something grotesque like 1:348. and yes, i’m being hyperbolic, but i have thousands of photos on my phone that are probably not worth revisiting. not to mention every time i take out my phone to take a photo i’m doing the same damn thing as checking the clock: opening myself up to the possibility of losing time.

so anyway i did something silly and bought a camp snap. you know, one of those screenless digital cameras. it hasn’t arrived yet. but my thinking  is this: it’s a device separate from my phone, it’s cute and nostalgic-feeling, and i’ll be excited to go through the photos when i transfer them to my computer, and can just delete ones i don’t like.

in bed

realistically i’d like to not even have my phone in my bedroom—or at least far enough away from my bed i can’t reach it. there’s no reason i need to scroll through pinterest in bed. i can wrap up my finch self-care app tasks before i tuck myself in. and while i do love to start my day with the nyt crossword, wouldn’t it be much more romantic to do it from my bar counter with a warm beverage??

to that end, i’ve acquired a clock radio alarm clock. if you do any sort of research on physical alarm clocks, you’ll see some of the same devices listed, like the hatch or the loftie. but i hated both options? for one, we get tons of natural light in our bedroom in the morning and i’m not waking before the sun, so a sunrise alarm is pointless—not to mention they take up so. much. space. on a nightstand. and as for the loftie, i didn’t want something that requires a smartphone to set up. and while it looks cool, it also comes with a price tag that felt decidedly uncool.

so for now i’ll be waking up to the radio in the morning. i will say i haven’t actually been able to test waking up to it, though, since i’ve woken up before it’s gone off the last two mornings. but i’m a light sleeper so i’m not terribly worried about it not being loud enough to rouse me. (also lol @ me because i started with the radio set to opb (oregon public radio), but this morning when it kicked on the news was about war and i don’t think that’s great for my anxiety in the morning. so now it’s set to a music radio station.)

re: music

at first, i was looking at separate music players. i did unearth my old ipods but as you can imagine, those batteries are toast. i also still use spotify, because every time i try moving away from it i simply stop listening to music, which isn’t ideal. there are apparently daps (digital audio players) now that run android for streaming apps a la old ipod touches, but i kind of hate that option because you can just download other apps from the play store? i also don’t want an android device because fuck google. (fuck apple too, but it’s the poison i’ve picked.)

i did charge the apple watch i stopped using over a year ago with the thought of maybe just using it as a music player with bluetooth headphones, but the battery is also not great at this point, since it hasn’t seen a charger in over a year. also charging it brought up all the reasons i hate it, and so i’m just gonna tuck it back in the drawer to die again.

for now, i’ll still be using my phone for music.

and that’s where i’m at with it all. this journey has obviously already resulted in me buying things i definitely don’t need. but hopefully i’ll use them and make it worth it?

i’ll have to do an update in a month or two about how things are going.